Goodbye 2011!!

Momma got a new haircut today! I usually cut my hair twice a year so I was long overdue for one. I took the plunge and cut about 4 inches, whoa!

It feels amazing! If only we were going out for NYE to don my new 'do but there's no place like home with my two favorite boys. 2011 was simply too fantastic for words.

Never in a million years did I think I would have a baby boy who would be a total surprise. Motherhood is my dream come true. Even on the days when I'm exhausted and frustrated with Easton, I LOVE being his mom. No one but my 16lb baby can melt my heart and make me smile when he wakes up for his 3am feeding. Every little burp, coo, smile are what make my world go round. I'm also so so thankful to God that Justin works so hard for us and I can stay home with Easton. My husband has had to make sacrifices too but has never complained. During our hospital stay, I saw a side of my husband that brought new meaning to the word admiration. He's a keeper!

My expectations for 2012 mainly include buying our first home, getting a new car, and being the best mom to my little one. If I could choose one word for 2012 instead of making a resolution it would be family. I just want to create memories and fill our home with love.

This is sad, but I need a nap before I can countdown tonight, LOL.

Happy New Year!!

Hubby is on vacation and I'm really enjoying our family time right now, not to mention it's our 2 year anniversary! I just wanted to shout that we're no longer swaddling!! My baby is growing so fast and it's these little milestones that I love writing about in his journal. I'll be back soon with pictures from his first Christmas!

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in it's place, 

But have not love- I am a housekeeper, not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, 

But have not love- my children learn of cleanliness, not godliness. 

Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.

Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window. 

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. 

Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love is present through trials. 

Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.

As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, 

but the greatest of all is.... LOVE.

~Michelle Duggar

4 months baby!

My little man is keeping me on my toes and I can't seem to find the time to blog lately. Whenever he's asleep I like to just relax but I'm trying.

4 month stats are in!

The chunkster is 16 lbs 14 oz, 25 1/2 inches long and we got the go ahead to start solids but she encouraged us to do baby led weaning.  We'll see if I can hold out that long because I would love to see what he does with food.

He also got one vaccine today and didn't cry, what a champ! I also found out what I thought were teeth are actual nodules that will go away and are common in like 80% of babies. So no teeth for now but definitely more drooling and chewing on things. The pedi also wants Easton to do some physical therapy for his little noggin. Apparently, she's not fond of a little flat spot on his head, lol. Poor guy.
Poor me too though because she told me to go off dairy for 3 weeks because his #2 is showing a possible milk intolerance.

And just to share with future baby mamas if your baby doesn't poo for days it's totally normal for breastfed babies, but after 4 months of just pooping once a week and two 10 day poop strikes I had to speak up to the pedi. I'll be giving him some prune juice from now on to help him go.

After Thanksgiving I think I may have screwed up his sleep schedule a little bit when I started putting him down later to see if he would sleep in more. Well, he did sleep in but he also started refusing naps in his crib and any nap longer than 20 minutes. One night he woke up at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep and that's when I decided something had to change!

I started reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and got to work all last week on fixing what I broke. I'm not letting him cry it out though. That's not for us. I started with just napping beside him in our bed since somehow he could sense when I wasn't there and would always wake up. Then over the weekend I did naps back in his crib and he would wake up once or twice but I just soothed him back to sleep and each time he would sleep a little longer. We're back to just one night feeding and then back to sleep until at least 6am. He naps after only 2 hours of waking sometimes less if he's tired. So far so good! He's still swaddled for night and naps but that's what he wants and that's how he sleeps :)

This weekend is CHRISTmas!! We're going to granddad's for the weekend and we're looking forward to being with family again. This will be Easton's first time away from home since the hospital. I'm sure he'll do just fine. I can't wait to take a million pictures!

Merry Christmas!!!

Easton has been attached at my hip this whole week making it difficult to do much especially blog. He wouldn't nap in his crib either. I've had to lay right beside him with my hand on his stomach in order for him to sleep , lol. Obviously he's currently sleeping in his crib while I blog so it's not that big of a deal. Besides I love the extra cuddles we're getting. I think he's teething too because he's been sucking on his hands and smacking his lips a lot. In fact I'm pretty sure I see his tooth already. His next appt isn't until the 19th so I won't know for sure until then. If it is a tooth then, wow, he's doing amazing because he's not fussing.

This is going to be TMI, but that's me and this is my blog so...

Sunday marked a year since Easton's existence :) Yup, I know exactly when it happened and it's all to a celebratory mood after we beat the Gators. It was nice to see another win over the weekend. We're state champs again!! GO NOLES!

Today is my hubby's birthday! He's 29!!! I'm going to rave about him because really without him Easton and I couldn't stay home. I wouldn't be this deliriously happy either. We met as Seniors in HS so we've been together forever and there's no one in this universe I'd rather be sharing my life with. This man is so patient and giving that I wonder how I got so lucky. It stinks he has to work, but we'll get to celebrate on Saturday by going to his favorite restaurant. I got him a surprise present that won't get here for a little while but I hope he likes it :)

I'm also going to brag that Easton did fabulous on Thanksgiving. It's a 2 hour drive to Great-Grandmom's and he didn't cry! He slept almost the entire drive and he giggled and cooed. I was so worried too because the night before we tried to go out for pizza and he screamed and cried the whole 10 minute drive we just turned around and went home. Let's see what happens for Christmas...

Here's my happy boy awake now!

3 months!

 

Happy 3 months to my little prince (yesterday)!!!!!!

 He loves to smile at anything (the ceiling fan) and everyone.

He loves to look at his hands and is bringing them to his mouth.

He's also starting to bring other objects to his mouth like his blanket, lol.

He has a laugh! It's so adorable and I love to hear it.

He loves to "stand up" with the help of mommy and daddy.

He weight 15 lbs!

He loves boobs!

He brings so much joy into our lives to the point of overflowing.

I'm sooo excited for the holidays! A lot of firsts are coming up like first snow! We're are going to great grandma's for Thanksgiving next week and Easton will be meeting a lot of family members for the first time. I'm wondering how the napping is going to go since he likes things nice and quiet, but it's just one day so we'll just take it as it comes. I remember last year I didn't eat turkey because I was going all vegan, lol. Can I confess I'm looking forward to it next week?! It's very hard to eat meals these days, oh with a baby and everything, so I'm pigging out on Turkey day :)

 

Hair loss, stretch marks, and jelly roll

Oh pregnancy, you are wicked to the female body.

I thought I escaped stretch marks when I was preggo but lo and behold they were secretly there all along. They're like parentheses on my new jelly roll. Also, my linea nigra is still hanging around. Thank goodness for late summer babies! I have some time before next swimsuit season.

My hair on the other hand decided not to stick around any longer. It's been falling out lately. During my entire pregnancy I probably lost 10 hairs. It's nothing major and besides I have VERY thick long hair so it might be nice to lighten it up, lol.

I should also mention acne is paying a visit too. It's gotten better since I don't wear make up unless I go out, but still it's annoying.

Lastly, my fat jeans are still the only pair of pants that fit and my wedding rings are almost wearable.

Yes, pregnancy you have forever changed me. I've learned a lot of cold hard truths since being pregnant but don't think this post is me just complaining and whining. It's to share what happened to me. These are little things that happened to my body, but it was all to create the most perfect little human being I have ever seen.

It was all so incredibly worth it and I'm excited for when I can do it all over again!

Zzzzz

Easton, my boy, I love you and I hope you learn/are learning good sleep habits. Two days ago you gave me a crazy 3 hour nap. From afternoon to evening and I was freaking out that you were going to keep me up all night. But nope you fell asleep at 8. In the past you were waking up 3-4 times at night. You were once 1:30, 4:30, and 6:30. Now it's 3:30 and 6:30. Except last night you decided to wake up at 10:30 for a bite to eat. Then you put yourself to sleep!!!! OMG I watched you on the monitor grunt and toss around in your swaddle and all of a sudden stillness and your sweet breath.

Just now you put yourself to sleep again! And this time for a nap. I'm in a little bit of shock and very excited. Even if you do end up waking in 2 minutes I'll still be so proud.

I think you're an excellent night sleeper and I don't mind so much getting up in the middle of the night especially because when I look over in your crib you always greet me with a flirtatious smile. I know I'm not supposed to "play" with you so you don't get stimulated and won't fall back asleep, but I can't help giving your belly a million kisses and making you coo and smile. I treasure our quiet moments together at night because one day you're going to be too big for me to hold and you won't want kisses on your belly.

As of right now we're working on getting down some naps but everyday you change your mind. Sometimes it's a 10 or 15 minute catnap other times you can sleep for an hour or two. Now the next big thing will be to get you to sleep without your swaddle. That's coming up very soon and it makes me nervous.

All right my love, it's time for mommy to take a nap because you're STILL napping, yay!

Can't leave the house

Yesterday I met a friend for frozen yogurt and Easton cried the whole drive there. I had to take him out of his car seat as soon as we got there and hold him the whole time. Holding him wasn't the problem. When I put him back in the car seat to go to Target he starts crying again. The WHOLE way to Target. By the time we get there he's screaming and I have to take him out and push the cart with one hand. He was so upset that I started to cry right there in the baby aisle. A mom came up to us and she was rubbing his back and talking to me. It was really nice of her to try to help but I felt so terrible that he had to get that upset. He NEVER screams and cries like that, in fact that last and only time he did that was when he was born.

I don't know what I'm going to do about the car seat issue. Unless I sit back there with him, he cries. Hopefully he grows out of this real soon. Thank God the ped is right around the corner so he's never had much time to get upset. We've removed the infant pads and adjusted the shoulder straps. I think he just doesn't want to be strapped down and unable to see me. When we go on walks he doesn't cry because he can see me but he does fuss a little when I put him in and when we get home.

So this weekend is going to be awesome because one of my bests is coming down from DC to meet Easton. Daddy and Easton will have quality time while the girls go out for some shopping.

On a different subject: cloth diapering. I haven't shared how that's going. We didn't start until Easton was a month and a half and we only did it for 2 weeks. Let me explain....

We had gotten newborn diapers from a friend and I had a diaper cake at my shower so I had plenty of diapers to use and I used them up gladly. After all I'll be honest I'm not doing cloth diapers for the environment but to save money. Then we were at the hospital where they provided us with diapers and sent us home with diapers. Then my mom wanted to buy some more because she didn't care too much about the cloth, although she did cloth diaper my brother and I a little bit. I didn't run out of disposables until Easton was almost two months.

I mainly used prefolds with a cover and they're great. I've never had leaking issues. I had leaking with a couple of pockets and all-in-ones but it may have been that I didn't prep them enough. Anyway so one day I'm like I think I want to use disposables at night to make it easier on myself. Not that cloth is hard, but when you're sleep deprived disposables are super quick. Stupidly I bought Easton's size but there were so many that I ended up using them more than cloth so I wouldn't have any left over. But now, we're back on cloth and I may or may not use the disposables at night. It all depends how I feel I guess. I had to buy more cloth diapers too since he outgrew his prefolds. I'm debating whether or not to buy more or just stick with the all in one diapers since they're closer to disposables. I'll admit it's more work to use cloth, but it feels so good to save money and they are super cute.

All right it's almost 6 and my little guy is still sleeping from 3 this afternoon! I better vacuum to get him to stir. I know I know, never wake a sleeping baby, but I have to clean the house at some point right?

Breastfeeding...LONG

Again I'm getting honest here with my experience so I warn that I might tell you things that can make you cringe. Also, get a cup of coffee because this will be long.

I was so naive in thinking that breastfeeding would be simple and easy! I think back when I went to LLL meetings and with high hopes and no doubts, I listened to other moms and imagined that I too would be breastfeeding with ease. I really felt that I had done my homework and that I was prepared. But I never bothered in learning about issues that might come up. I honestly didn't think I would have any.

My problems started almost immediately. By day two, Easton was just falling asleep at my breast and my right nipple burned from pain. He had sucked enough, though poorly, to make my nipple raw and close to bleeding. By day three, the lactation consultant came over and that's when we realized Easton was not getting much if anything. He had his first bottle of formula and she told me he had a weak suck. We also went through the jaundice ordeal and while we were at the hospital I was on a pumping schedule. I didn't breast feed too much because my right breast was healing and I was still in pain so I pumped and gave him what little I could in addition to formula.

Once home, the LC came over again and told me my milk never came in like it should have. Let me clarify that when you work with a LC they will weigh your baby, have you bf him/her, then weigh them again to see how much they took in. She also had me pump to see how much output I had. From this she gathered that my milk didn't come in. She couldn't make sense as to why this had happened. She could only think that a piece of my placenta was still inside. She said even the tiniest piece left behind can affect the milk supply. So I took a prescription to "expel" anything. I had some cramping but that was all. I also went on another pumping schedule. It made it really hard to go out and if I needed to run errands they had to revolve around my schedule. I think in the beginning I was pumping close to 2oz every 3-4 hours. Not much at all. BFing was still painful on my right breast. I tried different holds but they only caused more pain. I would took breaks from BFing him on my right side in order to let the nipple heal.

At his 1 month appointment he had gained weight beautifully and the ped said I could get him off of formula. That day started a whole other battle emotionally for me. I went home and only gave him one bottle of formula that day but he was so fussy. Then on top of that I had my mother telling me he was hungry and to give him formula because it won't hurt him. I love my mother, but I can seriously say now that I'm thankful she doesn't live with us because she can drive me insane! There is no other woman I trust more than her to care for Easton, but she didn't understand how important BFing was to me. She had a lot of pain BFing my brother and I so she BF us when she could and gave us formula. I needed someone to be supportive and tell me he's going to be ok just soothe him and he can get off formula. So I felt a lot of pressure from her to continue giving him formula.

That day I just broke down crying. It may still have been hormones, but I just felt that I was a failure. I felt hopeless because there was nothing I could do to make more milk. Why did my body fail me? I was constantly pumping and I was getting sick and tired of feeling like I was strapped to the pump. I wanted so badly to just sit down with my baby and nurse him. Just once, with no pain and no worries.

I had some comfort that day from a complete stranger though (God again telling me He's with me). I went out to get the mail when I ran into a neighbor I'd never met and her baby girl. We got to talking and the first thing she asks is how is it going? I was honest and told her about my day and the difficulty I've had with BFing. She then told me she was having such a hard time too. She was going through what I felt was worse than my situation because she ended up getting abscess in her breast! She was told not to BF at all. It felt so good to talk to someone who was going through hard times too. It turns out she got cleared to BF and I believe she is now :)

A great turning point came when I went for my follow up with the midwives. That's when I first heard about domperidone. I could take these pills that were proven to increase your milk supply. Dom is actually to treat nausea and vomiting but a side effect is increasing milk production. It's given to women who adopt and want to breast feed. I was ecstatic! I took them for 3-4 weeks and I did notice an increase, but I kept giving him a few oz of formula. I guess I was scared to just drop the formula all together.

Finally at his two month appt the ped said again I can take him off of formula since he was quite healthy, lol. She said it won't hurt him if he gets some but try to scale back. That day I was determined to get him off formula. He only had one bottle that day. I breastfed him what felt like all the time and it didn't hurt anymore! Instead of me getting him to latch on and putting the nipple in his mouth, I just let him get it himself. It worked like magic. I think BFing him more helped increase my supply too. BUT then...one night I was too tired to get up and pump so I thought I'd just wait for him to wake up and I'll BF him. Well, that night he decided to sleep much longer and I woke up with big hard boobs that hurt.

What came next? Two days later I got mastitis, a breast infection in my right breast from clogged milk ducts. I had the worst chills ever and 103 fever. Luckily, Justin hadn't left for work so he stayed to care for Easton because I couldn't move. I was shaking so bad and then afterward I was so weak. My midwife called in an antibiotic for me and I started it that day. My fever came and went for two days but I felt better the next day. I still had to massage my breast and use hot compresses to get the ducts unplugged. During this time my right nipple started hurting again when I BF him. Ugh! I had to take a day off from BFing him on that breast. The mastitis decreased my milk supply and I had to up his formula intake.

Where are we now? I'm back on Domperidone, my breasts don't hurt, and I'm BFing all the time. I'm still pumping at night and he gets at most 6oz of formula a day. I'm hoping I can try to get him off of it if my supply goes up, but for now I'm completely ok with giving him formula. My heart finally accepted that it's ok to give him some because he is getting mostly breast milk. Formula is not my enemy anymore.

I'm so much happier now and I absolutely LOVE BFing! It's everything I'd imagined it to be. The bonding time and knowing I'm giving him the best warms my heart. It's pretty sweet too that you can just pop a boob for nearly anything. Crying? Give him the boob. Sleepy? Give him the boob. Lately, I'll be BFing him and he'll stop, look up at me and give me the biggest smile. BEST.THING.EVER!

I'm so glad I didn't stop when everything was going wrong. I hope we won't have to for a long time. We're finally in a good place and I'd like to stay here a while :)

My boob man!

Our hospital stay

We got in Friday night, really, late. I don't think they did another heel prick but they hooked him up to a monitor and he had to have sensors placed on him and the bili light underneath him. With all those wires it was a mess trying to get him out to feed and change him. The monitor would go off every minute all night long. The next day another heel prick and an IV was put in. It takes a really special person to put an IV needle in a newborn. They use the tiniest needles looking for the tiniest of veins. Thank God she got it in quick, but it was awful to see him on it since they had to bandage up his hand really good.

His bili number came back at only 19.3 (it was 19.5 when we were admitted I just thought it was 18) so it was terrible that it didn't much at all. The plan then was to do another heel prick that evening, that maybe with the formula, breast milk, and IV that the number would drop. That evening 19.0. Not enough but at least they took the IV out and the took the sensors off. I felt so much better about that at least. Sunday morning, another heel prick. The number 18.3! The doctor would like to see a 15 but if it continues to drop that evening we can go home and we could probably just take home the bili light to use a little longer. Later that evening the number spiked to 18.8. I was a hot mess just bawling thinking the worst. The doctor recommended a million tests and an incubator. So they had to draw like 2 tubes of blood. My poor baby was being pricked everyday of his first few days in the world. His feet had several red dots on them. Once in the incubator I felt a little more at peace because this was going to kill the jaundice and we would go home. Plus he looked so cute with his shades and his arms raised over his head. He was nice and warm.

I think back sometimes and wonder how we made it through that week. When we were at the hospital we were awake maybe every 2-3 hours to feed him. Justin kept a log of every oz of breast milk and formula he took at what time and whether he pooped or peed. He was so diligent and perfect at that that the nurses were impressed and wanted a copy of his log, lol. He was pretty scared during this time too. If someone would have told us that jaundice is so common and the numbers can drop and spike or that jaundice can last longer than his did then I probably wouldn't have been so scared. Finally Monday morning came and another heel prick followed by the best news ever! his number was 15.8! We got to go home that day but had to follow up with our pediatrician the next day for another heel prick.

Yay, I'm going home!

The crazy thing is that the next day his bili number was up again at 17. Yeah, it was a roller coaster of emotions. I barely had time to get over my birth experience. I told Justin that if jaundice wouldn't have happened then I could've easily processed and taken in the birth as not too bad but all of this made for a week of hell. Ok so again we went on Wednesday for the last heel prick and it was down to 14. On his one week birthday nonetheless :) Stay tuned to hear the joys of breastfeeding (insert sarcasm here)!

Happy 2 months baby!

One day late but I wanted to share about Easton's 2 month check up. He is a whopping 14 pounds and 24 inches long placing him in the 95th percentile! I have a big boy :-)

I actually went in thinking he would be 12 pounds but nope, daddy was right in guessing he would be 14. Easton also got his first vaccine. We're following Dr. Sears schedule for now so he only got the DTap. My champ didn't even cry. Mommy almost did though.

In other good news the doc said, again, to get him off formula if I want. It won't hurt him to stay on it but he doesn't need it. I have a story to share about the woes of breastfeeding, but that's for another day.

As of today he's only gotten 2 1/2oz of formula so we're doing awesome!

Jaundice sucks!

I'm going to say it again, God is GREAT! That should really be the name of my blog because seriously you may not know when He's working in your life until you've gone through something, whether good or bad.

What I mean is that had certain things not happened as they did the results could've been far worse for us. For example, had I gone to a hospital to have Easton, I would've ended up having a csection. They would not have wanted to me be in labor so long after my water broke and they would not like me pushing for so long. Actually it would've looked something like this:

water broke so start me on the IV for gbs
labor not progressing quick enough start me on pitocin
pitocin kicking my butt so get an epidural
labor slows down, well time for a csection. I would've been the classic story of what happens so much nowadays. Yes, I'm grateful that we had the birth center and the midwives. I like to say they were Easton's angels.

So back to us at home thinking everything was wonderful minus my right nipple becoming raw to the point of bleeding. This was the reason we called the lactation consultant and she came on Friday. Day 2 of us being home. But first, early that morning my mom thought Easton looked a little yellow. I started noticing it too and wondered why he was sleeping so much when by then he should've been going through the cluster feedings. He should've been up constantly feeding but he wasn't.

The LC arrives and proceeds to do her thing. She weighs him initially and notices he's lost 9% of his weight in 2 days. Not good. I breastfeed him and he gets weighed again. He ended up losing like 2oz! Very bad. She notices too that he just falls asleep on my breast and isn't sucking very well.

I'm crying at this point because she's very concerned about what's happening. This is where things start to unravel, or more like I start to come apart. We didn't have our appt with the ped until Monday but she called in and asked if they could make time for us because he may have jaundice and he's lost too much weight.

While we're getting ready we had to give him a bottle of formula which he took and drank right away. Thank God that I happened to have both a bottle and formula! I later found out he was dehydrated. Just typing this makes me tear up because I remember how he looked and it really hurts to think that something worse could've happened.

I had gotten a free can of formula and an Avent bottle in the mail. I still had the formula because I was going to donate it whenever I found out who to give it to. I never thought he would get jaundice and he wouldn't suck very well. Or that my milk wouldn't come in like it should've. I thought and planned on solely breastfeeding and that I wouldn't have any problems. Silly me. Always an optimist.

At the ped's office she looked him over and directed us to the nearest hospital to have his blirubin checked.

At the hospital, they pricked his heel. He just slept through everything. It was so heartbreaking.

We went home and started gathering our things in case we got the call from the ped to go to a hospital and have to stay overnight. Sure enough she calls and his bilirubin number was 18. High enough to get admitted into the hospital. We asked the ped to choose the hospital we would go to. We had a choice of two and she chose Levine Children's hospital in Charlotte. I know that really sick babies go to this hospital so you can try to imagine how this made me feel.

I have to take a pause here so I can go buy some food! I hate recalling all this anyway. See ya tomorrow!

Easton's birthday part 2

So where was I?

The doctor showed up sometime in the morning and joined the fun. She was on my left, Justin on my right, the midwives down below. I was in bed on my back, where I NEVER thought I'd be. In class we learned that it's not the most natural position to birth but rather squatting would be easier. Yeah well, no one told me that sometimes being on your back is necessary. Easton was tilted just right so that it caused him to be stuck a little. I had to get on my back to get him out.

So after maybe 30 minutes or an hour(?) of screaming and pushing, out came Easton. He immediately starting crying. I was in shock because all of a sudden he was just there. I can't really explain my thoughts at this point. I was exhausted and excited all at the same time. He was put on my stomach and I just held him and we looked at him in awe.

My baby boy was here! Born at 11:43am weighing 8lbs 4 oz and 20 inches long.

I tried to see if he would do that baby crawl to my breast, but he was having a hard time so I had to help him, lol.

The pain doesn't end here though. The placenta still had to come out. That hurt like a you know what. All the while, the midwife is pushing on my stomach! I was given a shot of Pitocin in my leg because I was bleeding a lot. There I was expecting this part not to hurt because again I read that you'll be so into your baby you won't notice what's going on down there. Yeah right.

So after a while they wanted me to get up and go pee, but as soon as I tried to get up I passed out. Guess what I got then? A sniff of ammonia and a catheter. I'm telling you, you lose all modesty!

Easton did get a Vitamin K shot because of all the pushing I did and just in case he experienced any bruising.

Later when I did get up to pee on my own I passed out again in the bathroom so I was given an IV. This helped a lot and by 11pm that night we went home. Everything was perfect and we were totally in love. Little did we know that two days later all hell would break loose.

I'll write about the jaundice and our hospital stay next.

Only hours old :-)

Easton's "birth"day

This is not going to be a fairy tale. I'm going to try to recall as much as possible and be completely honest. So just a warning that I will get graphic.


August 16, 2011
I got up around 7am to go to work and do an evaluation. I was on maternity leave, but my boss had asked me the week prior if I could do it since I'm the only Spanish speaking therapist. Anyway, I go to the bathroom and when I wipe I noticed just a little tinge of blood on the tp. So I think to myself, 'hmm interesting, I wonder if this is the start to something?'

8:30am I'm leaving the office after grabbing the test I needed and proceed to get in my car when I feel a small gush. I get out and go to the bathroom and sure enough I'm wet and more comes out over the toilet. I know I'm not peeing. I have no clue why but I thought 'ok it's just a little bit, I'm going to go do this eval.' I get back in my car when it happens again. I get back out, go back to the bathroom, and finally tell myself, this eval isn't happening today.

I tell our lovely insurance lady 'I think my water is breaking.' She gets up all excited, hugs me. I say I'm going to go the doctor so I don't think I'm able to do this eval. Duh she tells me, go to the doctor.

So I head over to see my midwives. I already had an appt later that morning so I arrive just a bit earlier. They confirmed that yes my water was breaking. She didn't do an internal exam to limit a possible gbs infection and infection in general. They gave me some hebiclens (for my gbs positive). It's basically soap that you mix with water. You can read more here. She said they'd call me later in the day.

About 9:30 I get home and by this time my back is aching so it was really hard to get out of my car. Justin knew what was going on of course but I told him to stay at work so he would get his full 7 days of leave when the baby was here. I couldn't really do anything at home since my lower back hurt so bad. I took a nap, listened to some music, prayed, cried, and sat around.

I finally called my mother who was expected to fly in the next day. She freaked out and wanted to come immediately. This was the last thing I wanted of course. I said no everything is fine. I look back now and remember those last hours of just being alone, before Easton, and treasure it. I was saying goodbye to the old and getting ready for the new. I cried because I was so amazed at how God had worked and blessed my pregnancy. I cried because I was about to meet my sweet boy.

By 3:30 the contractions were getting painful so I called Justin to come home. He only had 30 minutes left at work anyway. My co worker brought me a heating pad and Justin brought Pizza Hut for dinner. I should mention that Justin and I had said this was going to be our last date night, LOL. We planned on going to dinner, a movie, and then go for some ice cream. :-)

I did plan on watching our wedding video though as my "project" that we had talked about in class. Good thing I didn't choose to bake something because my back really didn't let me do much. So we watched it one last time.

Now time starts to get blurry here. I remember I got into the bathtub to ease the contractions and it was the best feeling in the world. We have such hot water that my contractions stopped when I was in there. I didn't want that happening so I got out after maybe 30 minutes.

I tried to lay on my side in bed and that brought on the worst contractions ever so I was not going to do that anymore. Yes, by now they were very painful. Justin was timing them but the midwife said to stop since we knew I was definitely in labor. They weren't consistent anyway.

One of the midwives came to see me and saw me through some contractions. She said she was going home to sleep and call when we were ready to go to the birth center. I labored on my yoga ball, on all fours, Justin rubbed my back, he helped me through contractions, and finally I was ready to go. Justin packed the car and I said goodbye to Luna.

2am- we get to the birth center and one midwife is filling up the pool in our room. I'm in so much pain I just want to get in the pool. Here's where I got my first vaginal exam to check how far I was dilated. I was already 7cm. The water was cold and nothing was heating it up. So one of the midwives called her husband to come see what the problem was. What a great husband! It had to have been 3am when he came to fix the heater. Don't worry we never saw each other!

After some time (hours) and trying new positions in the pool, I was told to get out because things didn't appear to be progressing. I labored out of the pool for a while when I wanted to get back in the pool. Finally around 7am I felt the urge to push. We had seen a birth video of this woman birthing in a pool and she just let her body do the pushing and the baby came out all lovely and wonderful. Well, let me tell you she was some lucky little prat because that wasn't the case for me.

I pushed for 4 hours. In the pool, beside the pool, beside the bed, and finally in bed on my back. Everyone kept telling me he was almost here and to try giving at least 3 pushes. They asked me to get in bed which I did not want to do because it had hurt so much at home. You're probably thinking how can the pain get worse? Well, it can and it did. I finally got in bed and they could see his head coming out but it kept going back in. They held out a mirror for me and sure enough I saw his hair on his head. It was the coolest thing! Here's where the pain was excruciating. The  midwife was pouring oil over my vagina and stretching it!!!!!

OMG, I'm sorta thankful now since it prevented me from tearing but seriously me pushing and her stretching were the worst part of labor for me. I wasn't watching any part of what was going on down there. They took away the mirror because the baby was just not coming out. I remember at least twice saying I didn't want to do this anymore. I imagined going to the hospital at this point, but moving didn't sound great either. Everyone was incredible though.

My husband, was out of this world amazing. He was the best coach. He kept telling me I was awesome and kissing my head. I can still hear him saying awesome all the time, LOL. He was by my side giving me water constantly and talking to me. He never slept and he hadn't slept in over 24 hours.


I have to take a break here since Easton is stirring. Stay tuned for part 2!

I'm trying, I really am

To come back to blogging. I'm just a little busy lately because...

I'm a MOM!!! It's amazing and really really really hard!!

I've had family at home for nearly 2 months and they have helped tremendously. God is good and his timing is perfect for everything.

I'll be back with a birth story and a new blog name (any suggestions) because again:

I'm a MOM!

Someone's about to have a "birth" day!!!

Baby D will probably be here in the next 24 hours!!

That's all I can say for now because my back is aching more and more so I'm off to get in a nap before the adventure begins!

10 days!! What?!

Just happened to look at my countdown today and it reminded me that there's 10 days until the due date!! Where has time gone? We still need to install the car seat, pick up the stroller, and I have to prep diapers. I hope the little guy hangs in there for those next 10 because we need them.
At the same time I can explode with excitement!!!! He's almost here:):):) Yes, I'm excited, no doubt about that....but I'm also trying to connect with myself... alone... in these last days. I almost feel like I have that down time before you start your first job after college. That was a fun time. Of course now, I'm a little restricted in the "fun" I can have, being huge and slightly immobile, lol.
I'm about to become someone's M-O-T-H-E-R and this little person is going to be attached to me for a very long time. Even when I go out with my husband I'll still have baby on my mind. Our little family consisting of furbabies is now going to include another human being. WOW. I'm a mixture of emotions right now. None that are bad though just bittersweet.

Memory lane....

And now my number one dream is coming true.....

I'm free!!

Yesterday was my last work day and I celebrated with a mini DQ nutter butter. YUM! I'm on official mommy-to-be vacation :)

I need it to have me time, but also to get baby D's stuff organized and ready. So far, I organized his mammoth size pile of clothes into drawers by months and also hung some stuff up. His pack n play comes with side storage and a hamper so that's ready with diapers and wipes. He has a soft velour sheet in his bassinet for extra cushioning and the changing station has water proof liners on it. Doesn't it sound lovely? We're doing the best we can with the limited space. Trust me it's small.

Today I had to buy extra storage for his bibs, socks, hats, and blankets. We bought this tiny dresser last week from someone just to have something to put his clothes in for now. The guest bedroom will hopefully be ready in time for my mom next week but for now it's like babies r us threw up in there. I haven't a clue where we're putting some of it.

We had our 2nd shower over the weekend with just family. We felt showered with love (and gifts, lol) by everyone and it felt really good. I must've been standing a lot because towards the end I was having a lot of cramping and back ache. It was nice to come home.

We shared our 3 top names with everyone and one stood out as a favorite. Justin and I however, are still waiting on meeting the little guy until we make a decision. I can't believe it's been this hard. Girl names are so much easier.

Here's the scoop on yesterday's appointment:
no weight gain for me (thank goodness!)I've gained 43 lbs!
heartbeat was 128
I'm measuring at 37 weeks (even though I'm 38) so baby dropped
he may be weighing around 6.5-7 lbs now
he's head down

first night, unfortunately we had to bring that awful couch

Now this little mama is going to kick up her feet and enjoy a nice cup of Jo ;-)

The birth center

My surprise announcement.....We're birthing at the birth center after all!!!!!!!

I'm so so excited that BCBS came through and we can say byebye hospital! I've already had two prenatal visits with my new midwife and she is wonderful. The doctor is pretty cool too. Oh and a non related fact, she's married to a Honduran man, lol. Her two boys looks like they can be my brothers.

Anyway, Justin and I toured the temporary location on Wednesday. It has two rooms each with their own queen/king size bed and a birth pool. I might have a water birth! There are just so many things about the center that make me excited. We're about a quarter of a mile away from the hospital so should we need to go there it's a safe distance.

I'm feeling better since last weekend's move. My cankles and swollen hands are still hanging around, but they're just annoyances now. I'm feeling cramping everyday and sometimes it catches my breathe. Baby boy's head is low, very low. He's measuring right on time and size so I'm relieved no big baby as of now. He loves kicking the doppler away when we listen to his heartbeat which is the cutest thing. Getting in and out of bed is a sport in itself. I'm telling you I never thought the extra weight you carry can make the simplest things difficult.

Hubby is doing an amazing job unpacking and making our condo a home. The poor guy is exhausted every night. He's simply the best. His perfectionism can irk me sometimes though, haha.

I'm ready to get baby's clothes and diapers ready so I'm hoping this coming week I can get a lot of that done. First we have our second baby shower this weekend at his dad's house. It's a two hour drive so fingers crossed that baby doesn't decide to come. My mom doesn't get in town until the 17th and I'm going to need her help for sure.

That's all my randomness for the morning. I'm off to run errands. TGIF!!

Goodbye to our first place

cutie

Cankles

I got them over the weekend, do you like?

I'm not sure if they crept up on me or if the move brought them on but I noticed them on Saturday and they hurt! My hands and face are swollen too. Apparently, it can get worse and even much worse after birth! I can't wear shoes anymore, my hands are falling asleep throughout the day, and I almost got the waddle down.

Oh yes the fun last weeks of pregnancy are here :-)

37 weeks

full term baby