3 months!

 

Happy 3 months to my little prince (yesterday)!!!!!!

 He loves to smile at anything (the ceiling fan) and everyone.

He loves to look at his hands and is bringing them to his mouth.

He's also starting to bring other objects to his mouth like his blanket, lol.

He has a laugh! It's so adorable and I love to hear it.

He loves to "stand up" with the help of mommy and daddy.

He weight 15 lbs!

He loves boobs!

He brings so much joy into our lives to the point of overflowing.

I'm sooo excited for the holidays! A lot of firsts are coming up like first snow! We're are going to great grandma's for Thanksgiving next week and Easton will be meeting a lot of family members for the first time. I'm wondering how the napping is going to go since he likes things nice and quiet, but it's just one day so we'll just take it as it comes. I remember last year I didn't eat turkey because I was going all vegan, lol. Can I confess I'm looking forward to it next week?! It's very hard to eat meals these days, oh with a baby and everything, so I'm pigging out on Turkey day :)

 

Hair loss, stretch marks, and jelly roll

Oh pregnancy, you are wicked to the female body.

I thought I escaped stretch marks when I was preggo but lo and behold they were secretly there all along. They're like parentheses on my new jelly roll. Also, my linea nigra is still hanging around. Thank goodness for late summer babies! I have some time before next swimsuit season.

My hair on the other hand decided not to stick around any longer. It's been falling out lately. During my entire pregnancy I probably lost 10 hairs. It's nothing major and besides I have VERY thick long hair so it might be nice to lighten it up, lol.

I should also mention acne is paying a visit too. It's gotten better since I don't wear make up unless I go out, but still it's annoying.

Lastly, my fat jeans are still the only pair of pants that fit and my wedding rings are almost wearable.

Yes, pregnancy you have forever changed me. I've learned a lot of cold hard truths since being pregnant but don't think this post is me just complaining and whining. It's to share what happened to me. These are little things that happened to my body, but it was all to create the most perfect little human being I have ever seen.

It was all so incredibly worth it and I'm excited for when I can do it all over again!

Zzzzz

Easton, my boy, I love you and I hope you learn/are learning good sleep habits. Two days ago you gave me a crazy 3 hour nap. From afternoon to evening and I was freaking out that you were going to keep me up all night. But nope you fell asleep at 8. In the past you were waking up 3-4 times at night. You were once 1:30, 4:30, and 6:30. Now it's 3:30 and 6:30. Except last night you decided to wake up at 10:30 for a bite to eat. Then you put yourself to sleep!!!! OMG I watched you on the monitor grunt and toss around in your swaddle and all of a sudden stillness and your sweet breath.

Just now you put yourself to sleep again! And this time for a nap. I'm in a little bit of shock and very excited. Even if you do end up waking in 2 minutes I'll still be so proud.

I think you're an excellent night sleeper and I don't mind so much getting up in the middle of the night especially because when I look over in your crib you always greet me with a flirtatious smile. I know I'm not supposed to "play" with you so you don't get stimulated and won't fall back asleep, but I can't help giving your belly a million kisses and making you coo and smile. I treasure our quiet moments together at night because one day you're going to be too big for me to hold and you won't want kisses on your belly.

As of right now we're working on getting down some naps but everyday you change your mind. Sometimes it's a 10 or 15 minute catnap other times you can sleep for an hour or two. Now the next big thing will be to get you to sleep without your swaddle. That's coming up very soon and it makes me nervous.

All right my love, it's time for mommy to take a nap because you're STILL napping, yay!

Can't leave the house

Yesterday I met a friend for frozen yogurt and Easton cried the whole drive there. I had to take him out of his car seat as soon as we got there and hold him the whole time. Holding him wasn't the problem. When I put him back in the car seat to go to Target he starts crying again. The WHOLE way to Target. By the time we get there he's screaming and I have to take him out and push the cart with one hand. He was so upset that I started to cry right there in the baby aisle. A mom came up to us and she was rubbing his back and talking to me. It was really nice of her to try to help but I felt so terrible that he had to get that upset. He NEVER screams and cries like that, in fact that last and only time he did that was when he was born.

I don't know what I'm going to do about the car seat issue. Unless I sit back there with him, he cries. Hopefully he grows out of this real soon. Thank God the ped is right around the corner so he's never had much time to get upset. We've removed the infant pads and adjusted the shoulder straps. I think he just doesn't want to be strapped down and unable to see me. When we go on walks he doesn't cry because he can see me but he does fuss a little when I put him in and when we get home.

So this weekend is going to be awesome because one of my bests is coming down from DC to meet Easton. Daddy and Easton will have quality time while the girls go out for some shopping.

On a different subject: cloth diapering. I haven't shared how that's going. We didn't start until Easton was a month and a half and we only did it for 2 weeks. Let me explain....

We had gotten newborn diapers from a friend and I had a diaper cake at my shower so I had plenty of diapers to use and I used them up gladly. After all I'll be honest I'm not doing cloth diapers for the environment but to save money. Then we were at the hospital where they provided us with diapers and sent us home with diapers. Then my mom wanted to buy some more because she didn't care too much about the cloth, although she did cloth diaper my brother and I a little bit. I didn't run out of disposables until Easton was almost two months.

I mainly used prefolds with a cover and they're great. I've never had leaking issues. I had leaking with a couple of pockets and all-in-ones but it may have been that I didn't prep them enough. Anyway so one day I'm like I think I want to use disposables at night to make it easier on myself. Not that cloth is hard, but when you're sleep deprived disposables are super quick. Stupidly I bought Easton's size but there were so many that I ended up using them more than cloth so I wouldn't have any left over. But now, we're back on cloth and I may or may not use the disposables at night. It all depends how I feel I guess. I had to buy more cloth diapers too since he outgrew his prefolds. I'm debating whether or not to buy more or just stick with the all in one diapers since they're closer to disposables. I'll admit it's more work to use cloth, but it feels so good to save money and they are super cute.

All right it's almost 6 and my little guy is still sleeping from 3 this afternoon! I better vacuum to get him to stir. I know I know, never wake a sleeping baby, but I have to clean the house at some point right?

Breastfeeding...LONG

Again I'm getting honest here with my experience so I warn that I might tell you things that can make you cringe. Also, get a cup of coffee because this will be long.

I was so naive in thinking that breastfeeding would be simple and easy! I think back when I went to LLL meetings and with high hopes and no doubts, I listened to other moms and imagined that I too would be breastfeeding with ease. I really felt that I had done my homework and that I was prepared. But I never bothered in learning about issues that might come up. I honestly didn't think I would have any.

My problems started almost immediately. By day two, Easton was just falling asleep at my breast and my right nipple burned from pain. He had sucked enough, though poorly, to make my nipple raw and close to bleeding. By day three, the lactation consultant came over and that's when we realized Easton was not getting much if anything. He had his first bottle of formula and she told me he had a weak suck. We also went through the jaundice ordeal and while we were at the hospital I was on a pumping schedule. I didn't breast feed too much because my right breast was healing and I was still in pain so I pumped and gave him what little I could in addition to formula.

Once home, the LC came over again and told me my milk never came in like it should have. Let me clarify that when you work with a LC they will weigh your baby, have you bf him/her, then weigh them again to see how much they took in. She also had me pump to see how much output I had. From this she gathered that my milk didn't come in. She couldn't make sense as to why this had happened. She could only think that a piece of my placenta was still inside. She said even the tiniest piece left behind can affect the milk supply. So I took a prescription to "expel" anything. I had some cramping but that was all. I also went on another pumping schedule. It made it really hard to go out and if I needed to run errands they had to revolve around my schedule. I think in the beginning I was pumping close to 2oz every 3-4 hours. Not much at all. BFing was still painful on my right breast. I tried different holds but they only caused more pain. I would took breaks from BFing him on my right side in order to let the nipple heal.

At his 1 month appointment he had gained weight beautifully and the ped said I could get him off of formula. That day started a whole other battle emotionally for me. I went home and only gave him one bottle of formula that day but he was so fussy. Then on top of that I had my mother telling me he was hungry and to give him formula because it won't hurt him. I love my mother, but I can seriously say now that I'm thankful she doesn't live with us because she can drive me insane! There is no other woman I trust more than her to care for Easton, but she didn't understand how important BFing was to me. She had a lot of pain BFing my brother and I so she BF us when she could and gave us formula. I needed someone to be supportive and tell me he's going to be ok just soothe him and he can get off formula. So I felt a lot of pressure from her to continue giving him formula.

That day I just broke down crying. It may still have been hormones, but I just felt that I was a failure. I felt hopeless because there was nothing I could do to make more milk. Why did my body fail me? I was constantly pumping and I was getting sick and tired of feeling like I was strapped to the pump. I wanted so badly to just sit down with my baby and nurse him. Just once, with no pain and no worries.

I had some comfort that day from a complete stranger though (God again telling me He's with me). I went out to get the mail when I ran into a neighbor I'd never met and her baby girl. We got to talking and the first thing she asks is how is it going? I was honest and told her about my day and the difficulty I've had with BFing. She then told me she was having such a hard time too. She was going through what I felt was worse than my situation because she ended up getting abscess in her breast! She was told not to BF at all. It felt so good to talk to someone who was going through hard times too. It turns out she got cleared to BF and I believe she is now :)

A great turning point came when I went for my follow up with the midwives. That's when I first heard about domperidone. I could take these pills that were proven to increase your milk supply. Dom is actually to treat nausea and vomiting but a side effect is increasing milk production. It's given to women who adopt and want to breast feed. I was ecstatic! I took them for 3-4 weeks and I did notice an increase, but I kept giving him a few oz of formula. I guess I was scared to just drop the formula all together.

Finally at his two month appt the ped said again I can take him off of formula since he was quite healthy, lol. She said it won't hurt him if he gets some but try to scale back. That day I was determined to get him off formula. He only had one bottle that day. I breastfed him what felt like all the time and it didn't hurt anymore! Instead of me getting him to latch on and putting the nipple in his mouth, I just let him get it himself. It worked like magic. I think BFing him more helped increase my supply too. BUT then...one night I was too tired to get up and pump so I thought I'd just wait for him to wake up and I'll BF him. Well, that night he decided to sleep much longer and I woke up with big hard boobs that hurt.

What came next? Two days later I got mastitis, a breast infection in my right breast from clogged milk ducts. I had the worst chills ever and 103 fever. Luckily, Justin hadn't left for work so he stayed to care for Easton because I couldn't move. I was shaking so bad and then afterward I was so weak. My midwife called in an antibiotic for me and I started it that day. My fever came and went for two days but I felt better the next day. I still had to massage my breast and use hot compresses to get the ducts unplugged. During this time my right nipple started hurting again when I BF him. Ugh! I had to take a day off from BFing him on that breast. The mastitis decreased my milk supply and I had to up his formula intake.

Where are we now? I'm back on Domperidone, my breasts don't hurt, and I'm BFing all the time. I'm still pumping at night and he gets at most 6oz of formula a day. I'm hoping I can try to get him off of it if my supply goes up, but for now I'm completely ok with giving him formula. My heart finally accepted that it's ok to give him some because he is getting mostly breast milk. Formula is not my enemy anymore.

I'm so much happier now and I absolutely LOVE BFing! It's everything I'd imagined it to be. The bonding time and knowing I'm giving him the best warms my heart. It's pretty sweet too that you can just pop a boob for nearly anything. Crying? Give him the boob. Sleepy? Give him the boob. Lately, I'll be BFing him and he'll stop, look up at me and give me the biggest smile. BEST.THING.EVER!

I'm so glad I didn't stop when everything was going wrong. I hope we won't have to for a long time. We're finally in a good place and I'd like to stay here a while :)

My boob man!